Hurt.

Since moving after college, I - like many people - have had a hard time making friends. I knew a few people through college and got invited to a "Bachelor" watch party every Monday with some of them. Tonight I've been informed that I offended them by "some comments I've made". I don't know what I've said - because the informant made the conversation about the "awkward position" she's been put in by this conversation.

Then don't have this conversation? 

Granted, I don't think those girls were going to be life-long pals of mine. I didn't quite fit. But, it was nice to have people to be with one night a week. 

But, that hurts. I probably said some off-handed comment that they took completely wrong (which has happened before - my sense of humor is weird when I'm uncomfortable.) 

I feel like every time I take a step forward I'm pushed back 12 steps. 

My best friends have both told me tonight that "those aren't the people you should hangout with then". Easy for people with friends to say.

I don't want to do that to myself. To hang out with people just because I don't want to be alone every night. 

"Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than with bad company". 

I mean, they probably aren't bad people.

But I'll never know.

Because they made a judgement on me without knowing me. 

One of these days someone will "get me". Right now, I'm going to stick with my family and best friends. Even if they aren't physically with me everyday.